Hex#808080

You could argue grey areas give you freedom, but what is grey but a mere indecision and lingering limbo of feelings and unmade choices. It's dark and light, in it's balance coming across as boring, like a leap never taken.

I choose you. You say you love me and you fell in love with me. You are free to fall in love with me as many times as you wish, my darling, for I have fell for you once and it sufficed. 

It remains waiting in the dark, expecting to be fished out of the deepest and darkest dungeons of my body. When we're together it regurgitates through the embrace of our lips, bloody and gory. It hurts. I can't let it out. I won't. I respect your wishes to the extent of sparing you of my suffocating love. It's something we all need and I have it. I'm human, so are you. You give me what I need and more, but I'm tired of loving like a goddamn hound. 

You are a savior. Not mine, but a savior. You need someone to save, who is not me. And you are looking for them....you .....you found them. It's not me. It could never be, because there's nothing left to save. It cuts so deep, but my skin and blood have been used to the platelets of pain, and in the mere time frame you leave and return to me, those cuts will be nothing more than scars.

And yet again, you will be greeted with a smile and open arms, like you deserve. I'm not yours and you're not mine. But say it. Say it again. Say it time and time again. How much you love me and how much I mean to you. Scream it so everyone can hear it. Let me mark you so they know you're mine. I can't. Because you're not. I lost my faith, and as I lose my faith you lose your desire for me. All those times you've longed for my touch and my breath are simply shattered memories of a young and irreplicable connection. 

I've become nothing more than a grey area. Indecision, unexciting, old, and yet the perfect balance of black and white, light and dark and whatever meaning you wish to input. At least I know I will be your grey area.